Eating Together as a Family: Why We Still Break Bread

The kids are always asking me to come eat lunch with them. They wouldn’t mind if I came every day. In fact, eating together as a family is a quiet big deal to us. So, my first time to eat with either one of them at their new school was last week, for Arrington’s birthday. However, they don’t have lunch at the same time, so I planned to come back the next day to eat with Aliah.

It totally slipped my mind.

I got busy, and as a result, by the time I picked them up she was very upset with me. Cried, even. I apologized. She forgave me. But she held my feet to the fire. I must come the next school day. Monday. She even wrote me a reminder on our chalkboard.

breaking bread the chalkboard note

Mom ples dont ures it. momme cum et luch with Aliah at 11:13. I luve mommy

Message received.

Monday I was there by 11:00, I didn’t want to be late. Her face said it all. She lit up when she saw me. Then she let me know that if she had walked in and I wasn’t there, she was going to beat me up after school.

It was about twenty-five minutes that had nothing to do with the food. It was me getting a chance to put faces to the names of her classmates she has mentioned over the past couple of months. Stealing hugs and kisses in the middle of her school day. She wanted me there, showing me the what’s happens.

I was raised on eating together as a family. Dinner was at the table, together. I was not allowed to eat all through the house, and I still don’t.

When my nephew, who has been spending weekends with us, asked to watch TV while he ate, I told him we don’t do TV or electronics at the table. We sit, we talk, we commune.

He took it fine. It helps that we play our version of Family Feud. “Who wants to be Bro. Harvey?!” (There’s a Bro. Harvey who is a family friend and fellow church member. The kids decided he and Steve were the same man, and now, so have the rest of us.)

Breaking bread has always been about more than the meal. Something about a table helps us see each other and be present. Eating together as a family is where I hear from my children, and they hear from me.

So break bread with your people. Put the phone down. Show up at 11:13 when you can.

BTW: Eating at the table keeps the mess at the table. That alone is worth the rule.