Love Peace Soul

I stumbled on a written sermon by Dr. Phil McLarty: “Ideally, a father’s love is a reflection of God’s love – it’s grace-filled, merciful, forgiving, patient, kind and, most importantly, unconditional – not something you earn by doing and saying the right things, but a gift that’s given freely and will never, ever be taken away.”

It has been a month since my Pop’s death and as I sit and think of him, this describes the type of man and earthly father Pops has been for me. Like many, it is not until we are older and perhaps parenting our own children, that we realize, and hopefully appreciate, the way our parents loved us. Pops came in my life as a supportive advisor with a lending ear. Throughout the years he would continue to be a consistent, unobtrusive, and reassuring guide for me. Pops would be the epitome of grateful, calm and faithful, even in his final hours, surrounded by his loved ones.
Pops entered my life when I was a preteen. I have no memory of meeting him; he just was there after the gap (what I call the few years between my biological dad’s death, and my Pops coming into my little brother’s and my life). He was very adamant that we were not referred to, nor perceived as, his “step” children. Pops made this point clear in a very inclusive and loving way, never demanding or possessive, that was not his style. He was a benevolent, present and involved, patient and cool man.

I never saw Pops shy away from the spotlight.

He was always ready to flash that million-dollar smile and say a few words, if called upon. However, he never demanded the spotlight, it somehow always found its way to him; some people have a light within that is always illuminating. I loved to hear him say his own name with that sophisticated drawl, “Jeri’L” (pronounced Jerry L, emphasis on the L) he would introduce himself.

You could rest assure Pops was going to be the most well-dressed man in the room. My brother and I joke because it seemed years before we ever saw him out of a suit. He was a classic man personified.

Not one for yelling, screaming, or profanity, but if you heard him saying frickin/frackin, someone was about to be in big trouble. I admire how he was able to shine so bright while never diminishing anyone else’s light, rather seeing and recognizing their light too.

Over the last few years (time well spent it would seem), I spent a lot of time with Pops, and we had a lot of conversations. I was able to see the joy that he had found on his life’s journey: from his humble Louisiana beginnings to his resting hilltop retreat. Not a perfect man, no man is, but a redeemed man.

It gave me great joy to watch him loving every moment of his role as World’s Best Gramps!

As he sat in his man room overlooking the lake with a grandchild on each knee, he would smile and reminisce on his childhood and how he never could have dreamt or imagined this for himself. He would recall the only images of granddads playing with and enjoying their grandchildren were white men on television, so for him to be able to reap what he, along with my mother, had worked hard together to accomplish and achieve, and to be living the life he saw on television, was living the blessed dream. Even in the face of cancer, “what do I have to be bitter for or complain about,” he would humbly say.

I have memories of watching Soul Train.

This show was a vibe: the music, dancers/audience, outfits, scramble board, the line. I love everything about this show! The late, Don Cornelius would end each show with the tag line: Love, Peace and Soul. When my son was born, each time we would leave, Pops would say, along with corresponding gestures: Love, Peace, Soul. By the time my daughter came along, they would have perfected the soul whistle! Always wanting to stay with Gramps, the fun they had as they shouted their departing chant, made it a little easier!

I post this on the eve of my Pop’s 72nd birthday; the first we will celebrate without his physical presence.The soul of a man never dies. He will live on through the love he gave and the lessons he taught.

Please join me in wishing my Pops a Happy Birthday filled with Love Peace and….Soul!!

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