9 Things Motherhood Has Reminded Me

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Until my biological clock began to chime as loud as the sonic bomb, motherhood was not on my mind. Prior to having my son, I had never kept a baby/child overnight by myself.   I was not in the babysitters club.  I had only changed a handful of diapers, if that.  This would be on-the-job training.

I remember leaving the hospital slightly terrified, thinking, “They really just gone let me walk out of here with this baby.”  No one has asked me one question to determine if I am truly qualified to care for this child. Their only concern, “Do yall have a rear facing car seat?”

Now a mother of two, I am thankful for what these two humans have  brought to my life and are teaching me, as I do my very best to guide them.

Going into motherhood I assumed I would be doing all the teaching.  I soon realized, parenthood is a lot about learning and discovery, trial and error, and lots of praying.

These are 9 things motherhood has reminded and taught me…thus far, and counting.

1. There is no greater gift than UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.  Admittedly, motherhood may be my first practice, since I was a child, of unconditional love; the love with no strings attached.  The love I have for my children, I do not feel can truly be explained. The incorporation of boundaries into this unconditional love has created a wonderful training ground for me to practice the act of love, with my children, myself, and all of those in my life that I say I love.
2. Children seem to HAVE NO FEAR.  They are curious and eager to dive into life.  I am finding power, strength, success, freedom, and confidence are on the other side of fear.  I had lost some of that, but parenting my children, and wanting to lead them reminds me to be courageous and not limit myself.  “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it” – Nelson Mandela
3. It only takes a second to realize that a child’s main objective is to HAVE FUN.  My kids have reintroduced me to the concept of fun, both with and without them.  Having fun is a great way to bond, relieve stress,  bring balance into your life, and be more pleasant and enjoyable.
4. My son is the king of I CHANGE MY MIND.  There was a long period of time, my son seemed to only eat corn dogs.  Realizing this was his go to, I stocked the freezer, just in time for his proclamation upon serving, “Yuck Mommy, I do not like corn dogs anymore at all.”  My initial thought, “Who gone eat all these damn corn dogs?” I further thought, I too don’t have to continue status quo.  I can change my mind. For instance, I wanted to stop working and be a stay at home mom (an idea, that would have never crossed my mind just a few short years ago).
5. There are times I have to CHECK MY EGO.  I ask myself, “is it more important for me to flex my authority and be “right”, or to teach a lesson and reach the desired outcome.” Ego can tell us as parents that we know best and know it all.  I will speak for myself when I say, I have found that I do not know it all more times than I would like to admit.
6.  When it was just me, I could fly by the seat of my pants.  I leave room for flexibility, but ESTABLISHING A ROUTINE, whether it be to get ready for school, bath time, bedtime, etc., allows the kids to be more confident, independent, and settled in their behavior.  Establishing a routine allows my life, and theirs, to run more smoothly.
7.  “IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD.” – African Proverb.  As it may, it was not until I had my own kids that this concept really hit home. I am not able to be everywhere with my children, or all things to my children, nor do I want to be.  The village is as much for the children, as it is for me.  I am thankful for the perspective, experience, and gifts that the village possesses, and their willingness to share with both myself and my children, all in the name of love. Nurturing, teaching, and protecting as we strive to build a stronger community one child at a time.
8. Children have the most wonderful and expansive ability to BE IMAGINATIVE.  I love to hear and see the dinosaur and barbie worlds they create. When I lost my ability to dream, I knew I was in trouble.  For me, it meant I had lost the ability to think past my current circumstances and reality.  I instinctively knew this was a  potentially dangerous place to be. Allowing myself to visit my children’s worlds, helps me create and imagine my own.  My pareidolia has returned and I allow it to run free.
9. I was terrified to be out in public by myself with two small children.  I would need a lesson on LETTING GO. Having witnessed breakdowns, tantrums ,and the horrified look on a parent’s face, I did not want that judgment and scrutiny. On a necessary grocery store trip, the stage was set. I was making my way through my list, when my daughter began screaming, at the top of her lungs, right there in the middle of produce.

She was not hungry, dirty, or sleepy, she simply wanted to be held.  Not strong enough to hold her and maneuver the basket, I had two options.  Firstly, I could leave my half filled basket, shrink, be mortified, and scurry home as the people stared. Secondly,  I could not give a single f**k, and complete my list.  It had already taken an act of God to get us to the building. Needless to say, I took a deep breath, held my head a little higher, and continued to shop as my baby wailed.

I realized the standard of perfection I had put on myself and subsequently, my children, was not obtainable. I needed to simply let my kids, and myself be, and figure it out.  This seemingly small incident was a turning point to release the expectations and the care of what others thought.

Motherhood has been a most beautiful and gratifying learning and growing experience.  I know their ever changing lives, as well as my own, will bring new lessons, challenges and opportunities for us all.

BTW: On days I have nothing to give, there is grace….and cereal.

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