“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert
I did not set out to write about sadness this week. I like to think that I am generally an upbeat, positive thinker (once I’ve undergone my morning routine). So episodes like the one I am currently in are extremely draining and uncomfortable for me.
There has been a cloud looming over me for the better part of these past couple weeks that has been blocking my thoughts, creativity, and zest. I am in a cycle that if it were not for my children depending on me (thank God for them), I would be in the bed with the covers over my head riding the wave. Wake me when happiness returns.
What do I have to be sad or depressed about? Technically plenty, as I am sure we all do. But then again, nothing…..I am currently doing the work to get out of this cycle.
Per the CDC: Sadness is a common emotion sometimes caused by an event or loss; a condition or quality of being sad. Being sad is a normal reaction in difficult times. But usually, the sadness goes away. When a sad mood lasts for 2 weeks or more and interferes with normal, everyday functioning, you may be depressed.
Acknowledging and embracing all of our emotions, including the darker ones, can help us learn more about ourselves and grow. Suppressing these emotions may be our defense mechanism, but in the end it will only bring more negative effects: muscle tension, digestive issues, increased substance abuse, and depression, just to name a few.
Understanding Sadness
“The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” -Carl Jung
By understanding the role of sadness, we can better appreciate its place in our emotional lives and use it as a tool for personal growth and deeper connections with others. We can not expect to be happy 24/7, 365. Without sadness could we truly experience the richness of joy. I have been more reflective of my life this week; perhaps this is a teaching/growing moment.
I am better at recognizing my emotions now. Thus, communicating my emotional state and receiving support has been helpful, and not necessarily something I would have done so quickly in the past.
Although I have come to better understand some of my triggers, life can still strike suddenly. Whether it be hormonal, loss, disappointment, or change, sadness is a part of our emotional scope and can affect our brain and quality of life.
The Importance of Embracing Sadness
“Tears are words the mouth can’t say nor can the heart bear.” –Joshua Wisenbake
My astrological sign is cancer, so being in touch with my emotions is not necessarily a new concept for me. I have been called a cry baby my entire life it seems, but I have seen the effects of suppressing your emotions, and that seems harder to bear for me.
Yes, I am a crier. I do my best purging in the shower. It is a release for me. I can begin to think more clearly. Although being sad is uncomfortable, I am not ashamed, as it is an emotion that we all have.
Facing sadness can be difficult, but by embracing and working through sadness, we develop the resilience to face life’s inevitable ups and downs, and we grow into more self-aware, compassionate, and adaptable individuals. At least that has been my experience. I know this cycle will be no different. I just have to ride the wave.
Practical Tips for Riding the Wave
“Experiencing sadness and anger can make you feel more creative, and by being creative, you can get beyond your pain or negativity” — Yoko Ono
Initially, when I become sad, my instinct is to shut down. However, I have accumulated tools to know that is not the best tactic. Instead, I try to lean into mindfulness, self-compassion and grace. Do not be too hard on yourself for not being “put together.”
Make sure to stay with physical activities. For me, walking, yoga, and taekwondo are helping to improve my mood. I am sure to get my supply of vitamin D and increase my self care during these time. I have also learned to put down some weight/responsibilities to make my load more bearable during these times.
To any one that is feeling sad or depressed, I urge you to seek support. If you are like me, you never want to feel burdensome. I am so thankful for the support system that has surrounded me and holds me up. I really do not know what or where I would be without them. You know I am an advocate for professional help whenever needed (I may need to make my appointment asap).
Personal Reflection and Activities
These are a few activities I have been given in the past to help me along life’s road:
Journaling can be very therapeutic. Sometimes we just need to get our thoughts out of us and if we can not speak them, writing may be easier. Here are a few prompts I use to get me started:
Journal Prompt 1: Reflecting on Triggers and Impact: What has recently caused me to feel sad? Describe the event or situation in detail. How did it make me feel in the moment, and how do I feel about it now?
This prompt encourages you to pinpoint specific triggers and explore their immediate and lingering emotional impact. Reflecting on these details can help you better understand and process your sadness.
Journal Prompt 2: Lessons and Growth from Sadness: What has sadness taught me about myself and my life? How can I use these insights to grow and improve my emotional well-being?
This prompt invites you to consider the lessons and personal growth that have emerged from experiencing sadness. It encourages a positive and constructive outlook on emotional challenges.
Practicing Gratitude: Another activity that has been beneficial for me is practicing gratitude. You may even maintain a gratitude journal. I try to live in a state of gratitude to balance negative emotions with positive reflections. It can be easy for the sadness or negative emotions to trick us to thinking that is where we should reside. Gratitude keeps us thankful for ALL things.
Establishing personal rituals and routines brings comfort, stability, and consistency. Words of affirmation to myself, maintaining a “healthy” eating habit, and limiting my screen time all help me to get out of the sadness cycle. I encourage you to find what works for you.
“Being a successful person is not necessarily defined by what you have achieved, but by what you have overcome.” –Fannie Flagg
I was moved to share my cycle of sadness and I hope that it encourages, inspires, and empowers someone. I am hopeful, and I know that this is but a wave that will flow out, and surely bring about a new wave of emotions.
We are all here living our experimental life. As my grandmother says, I am thankful to be counted amongst the living. I will honor each emotion, including sadness, as I continue my life’s journey. Embracing ALL that life has to bring. It is important that I recognize and know this feeling so I can truly rejoice in the happiness that is also sure to come.
Find strength in your vulnerability as it all works together to nourish and grow us closer to ourselves, God, and others.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”— Maya Angelou
I encourage you to share your stories or strategies for embracing sadness in the comments.
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