This week, my heart turns toward my brother as he celebrates another year around the sun. My brother was born five years after me, and for a long time he felt like that little annoying boy who stayed telling on me. But somehow, somewhere along the way, he became this loud, bold, loving man whose presence is felt through our whole family.
If I had to describe him in three words, those would be it. Loud. Bold. Loving. He has always taken up space in a room—not because he demands attention, but because he carries a confidence I recognized even when I didn’t have it for myself.
Different Childhoods, Same Home
There’s this moment from our childhood that still sits with me. I spilled bright red nail polish on my mother’s white carpet. I panicked. Scrubbed. Cut. Tried to hide it—nothing worked. I cried, and without hesitation, my brother said he would take the blame. I didn’t let him, but that moment said everything. Yes, he annoyed me. Yes, he snitched. But when it mattered, he always had my back 1000%.
That’s exactly how he loves his people now—family, friends, everybody.
My brother and I grew up under the same roof, but walked through childhood on very different paths. He the charmer. I the introvert. But even then, I admired him. There was something steady in him from the start—something I saw before he ever saw it in himself.
A Black Father Doing the Work With Love
Today he’s a father of five—two biological, three bonus—and he loves them all with a steadiness that isn’t performative, just him!
His oldest, now 18, is soaring toward a career in aviation. His youngest, a bright-eyed 5-year-old, lights up the second he steps into the room. And his bonus babies? He shows up for them in all the everyday ways that build confidence, safety, and belonging.
As a father, he’s consistent. Present. The kind of man who teaches not through perfection, but through showing up. He pours into his kids because he knows what it means to be a Black child searching for guidance—and a Black man trying to carve out space in a world that doesn’t always honor you.
Watching him grow into manhood has been one of my quiet joys. He’s honest, transparent, and blunt enough to make you blink twice. But fatherhood softened him too—eyes welling when he talks about his daughter’s accomplishments, or the way pride settles into his voice when he mentions his little boy.
His fatherhood carries a deep, gentle strength. A reminder that our men are healing, evolving, and choosing to show up with more love than the world often makes room for.
I’ll never forget a conversation we had about five years ago—love, history, the world, our future. I remember thinking, He’s not a little boy anymore. I could hear the growth, the reflection, the becoming. And I’ve been proud of him ever since.
His Love Helped Me Step Into My Strength
Over the last few years—especially during my own healing, rebuilding, and rediscovering—I realized how much his support has mattered. His pride in me, his belief in my voice, his way of hyping me up without even trying…those seeds have helped me grow.
There’s something special about having a Black man in your corner who sees you clearly. My brother has been that for me. And whether he knows it or not, his love has made me braver.
What I Wish for Black Boys
As I honor him, I also think of the next generation. I hope Black boys everywhere experience what my brother gives his children:
- Love they don’t have to earn
- Grace for their mistakes
- Support that feels like a foundation, not a condition
- Black male role models who guide, teach, and protect
- Space to simply be boys before they’re expected to be men
I hope they grow up knowing their power—and knowing they are worthy of joy, softness, and a life that expands beyond the stereotypes placed on them.
Happy Birthday, Brother
To my brother: I love you, and I am proud of you. May this year stretch you, comfort you, and remind you of who you’ve always been. Thank you for the laughter, the honesty, the memories, the long talks, the teasing, and the way you stand tall in who you are.
Happy Birthday.
I honor you today and always.
Let us choose to embrace our men and boys with love, guidance, truth, and compassion.
BTW: The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. – African Proverb
How have the men or boys in your life shaped you? What do you want to see more of for Back men and Black sons?
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4 Comments. Leave new
Lovely tribute to your brother. We all love him so much. He makes me remember how much I love my brother.
I pray every Black son feels an envelopment of love from their fathers that they feel so protected that sons grow fearless but guided.
Agreed. He reminds me of Daddy too.
Happy birthday to brudda, for a man to get his flowers now from his loved ones is a blessing. Utmost respect and love for him as a man and especially as a father. Thank you for sharing your feelings and truth with great words!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share this with me. It truly means a lot. He’s a special man, and I’m grateful I get to celebrate him while he can still hear it. I appreciate you being here and hope you’ll come back for more. 💛