Starting Something New

Starting something new can feel overwhelming. Will I succeed? Will I fail?

A new beginning opens us up to uncertainty, making us vulnerable in ways we’re often uncomfortable with. At least speaking for myself.  If only we could predict the outcome before diving in. If you’re like me, you may find yourself questioning your abilities when starting something new.

I’m a pharmacist by trade, with 15 years of experience—10 of those spent running my own independent pharmacy. But when it comes to writing and blogging, I’m still learning. Will people want to hear my thoughts? Will anyone care?

I’ve faced challenges before, but the past few years, particularly during the pandemic, have been a different kind of test—one that felt like it was designed to push me to my limits. The last three years shook me in ways I never expected: from business “failure” and broken relationships I thought were unbreakable. Finding my stride as a parent, and adjusting to relocation.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

I now realize I’m not alone in my struggles. I’ve seen people close to me, and even those from afar, just trying to survive and make it through.

I grew up in DeSoto, Texas, a suburb just south of Dallas, and graduated in 1999 before heading to Xavier University of Louisiana. By 2006, I had earned my doctorate in pharmacy. After a few years working at a doctor’s office and with a chain pharmacy, I opened my own pharmacy in 2012 with a friend and classmate. Entrepreneurship felt natural, especially since my parents had run their own healthcare business for 20 years.

In 2015, I got married. By 2016, I welcomed my first child, and in 2019, my second. I bought a house, had two dogs, and a fenced yard. Life seemed “perfect”—everything was going according to plan. Or so I thought.

Like many, I was on autopilot.

I was trying to survive, to be everything to everyone. My head was down, and I was doing the work. It wasn’t until life’s unexpected turns knocked me down that I realized I wasn’t truly present in my own life. Things had been spiraling out of control long before I noticed: my business was struggling, my partner wanted out, my marriage was suffering, and the tension with my mother was unbearable. I felt like I was doing so much, yet doing nothing well. There just wasn’t enough time in the day. And did you notice? I hadn’t mentioned me at all.

I felt like I was drowning, barely gasping for air. When I finally came up for a breath, I was left with just me. But who was I? I didn’t have an answer. Didn’t know what I enjoyed, and I hadn’t been taking time for myself. I didn’t truly know myself. Self-care? That was nonexistent. What did I like to do for fun? Fun? Never heard of it…  What was my purpose? What kind of parent was I—and what kind did I want to be? “Trying to be a good wife. Still really hard, I can’t lie.”  Who was the me I wanted to be?

My life was in turmoil, BUT GOD! I used that moment to evaluate my life, to be honest with myself, and to move forward. My life and my children depended on that movement.

I took Queen Beyonce’s words to heart: I sold my business, moved to the country, and started getting to know myself. YOU WON’T BREAK MY SOUL! With the quiet of isolation, I could finally hear God’s voice clearly. I had the time to give myself—and my children—the real me. I started dating myself, caring for myself.

Groupon became my perfect tool for self-discovery. God placed people—some familiar, some who literally showed up at my doorstep—in my path to walk with me, talk with me, and pray with and for me. I reconnected with friends and family I hadn’t had the time or energy to truly be present with. I was healing, being restored, and for the first time in a long time, I felt alive, present, and driven by purpose.

I’ve come to believe that things happen for us, not to us. I’m thankful for the fall because it allowed me to start something new with a fresh perspective

The healing and cultivating of my relationship with myself has been the most beneficial of all.

Getting to know myself and realizing that I can only change and control me has been a refreshing and powerful revelation. I now humbly live my life for me and God. Operating from that humble space has allowed every aspect of my life to evolve. While my life still has its trials and tribulations, as it always will, I’ve found a new sense of joy and peace that I didn’t even realize was missing. Now that I’m more aware, I feel an obligation to make the most of this second chance at life.

School has officially started for both of my children.

This is the first time my daughter has been with anyone outside of myself and a select few family members. Meanwhile, my son started first grade at a new school. I often remind my kids that courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s doing what needs to be done despite feeling afraid. My son said, “Mommy, I’m starting first grade, and I’m very nervous, but that’s okay—I’m going to be great anyway!” Listening to him reflect my words back to me was such a powerful moment. Inspired by his courage, I decided it was time for me to take a leap too—this would be the start of my writing journey, something I’ve been passionate about for a long time. I’m nervous, but that’s okay!

Though these times have been challenging, they’ve led me back to myself and back to God. I’ve learned to trust in His guidance. The most important relationship we can nurture is with ourselves and with God (or whatever higher power you call upon).

Being pruned, stretched, and pushed beyond our limits can make us better and stronger!

In a world that often encourages us to retreat, hide, or give up on ourselves and others, I’m choosing to dig deep and push forward. I feel called to share my journey in the hopes of inspiring others, just as so many have helped me along the way. When we recognize that we’re all here to support and serve one another, it lifts some of the burden off our own shoulders.

Welcome to Life in AD! Let’s embrace a renewed, joyful life together. Let’s live fully, laugh out loud, and show up for ourselves—even when it feels scary.

BTW: It is my hope that you find this space to be inclusive, safe, and fun!

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