Finding Peace Amidst Holiday Chaos

The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy and togetherness, yet it often turns into a whirlwind of stress, overcommitment, and financial strain.

Finding peace amidst holiday chaos—any chaos really—has been a personal journey for me. I hope to share a few reflections and strategies that have helped me maintain inner calm during this busy season.

One of the greatest pieces of advice I received, was from a patient when my children were very young. She introduced me to her family’s “Rule of 3” for holiday gifts: one want, one need, and one necessity. This simple framework has been a blessing, as it keeps the chaos and expenses to a minimum, while teaching my children gratitude. Furthermore, it frees me from the guilt I often hear other parents express about not being able to afford everything their children (or they) may desire.

I’ve come to dislike the over-commercialization of Christmas. The pressure to keep up with the Joneses, wait in long lines, or chase the latest deal doesn’t align with my values. Truthfully, I’m not a shopper anyway. In fact, I’d rather do almost anything else than stand in a line. However, if it’s for the rapture, I’ll happily wait—and I’ll even pack snacks for that one!

finding peace amidst chaos yoga practice

I’ve learned that finding peace (even during the holidays) begins with being intentional. Here are a few practices that work for me:

Yoga and Mindfulness: Yoga has been transformative in my life. It keeps me grounded, centered, and self-aware. I’ve found that practicing gratitude alongside yoga creates a powerful sense of calm.
Nature and Joy-Seeking: Spending time outdoors, trying new activities, and challenging myself helps me remain joyful and present.
Boundaries and Discernment: Setting boundaries and honoring them has been crucial. Not everyone deserves a seat at your table or your energy.
Self-Care: Taking care of myself ensures I can show up as my best self for those I love. This includes time alone to recharge.

In addition to these personal practices, I’ve embraced peacemaking as a way to bring harmony to my relationships. Inspired by James 3:18 (“Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness”), I aim to live by the principles of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:

Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.

I now pray before difficult conversations in hopes to communicate in a way that my words can be received. I’ve also learned that not everything requires my response. Sometimes, letting people be who they are is the best way to protect my peace. Nikki Giovanni, whose recent passing reminds us of her immense wisdom, once said, “If you don’t understand yourself, you don’t understand anybody else.” Understanding my own triggers and needs, whether for family time, solitude, or something in between, has been crucial to my peace.

Gone are the days of large family Christmas gatherings from my childhood. Now, each family does its own thing. While this shift might seem bittersweet, it has nonetheless, given me the opportunity to focus on creating smaller, meaningful traditions with my children. Moreover, it allows me to prioritize what truly matters: love, connection, and joy.

This holiday season, I encourage you to protect your peace and live in gratitude.