Reclaiming Rest: Why Black Women Deserve to Prioritize Peace

I used to think rest was a luxury I couldn’t afford. 

I grew up believing that “laying around all day is lazy,” so I filled my time with movement—working, caring, doing.  It wasn’t until my late 30s that my body started whispering, then when I turned 40, demanding, that I slow down.  At first, I resisted. I knew how to push through, but I didn’t know how to pause.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Rest is not a reward, it’s a right.  And for Black women, it’s an act of love—self-love, ancestral love, and the love we so deserve to receive.

The Strong Black Woman & the Weight of Exhaustion

For generations, Black women have been praised for our strength, resilience, and ability to carry and do it all. But at what cost?  WE• ARE •TIRED.

From our foremothers, who worked from sunup to sundown—nurturing families while navigating systemic oppression (not much has changed)—to the modern-day hustle culture that tells us we have to do it all, we have been conditioned to equate our worth with our output.

Even in rest, there’s guilt. Did I earn this? Am I falling behind? What if I miss out on an opportunity?  The pressure to always be available, always be productive, always be everything to everyone—it’s exhausting.

But what if we challenged that narrative? What if we as Black women, “reclaimed our time;” reclaimed rest as a birthright instead of a burden?

Rest is Not Wasted Time—It’s Necessary

It took me a long time to understand this, but rest is not the opposite of success, it’s a part of it.  My life is full—coaching soccer, practicing Taekwondo, running errands, keeping up with my kids, and maintaining my yoga practice, just to mention a few things.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being active, but my body needs and deserves recovery.

One of my yoga teachers says, “Down time is not wasted time.” And he is right.  The more I honor my body’s need for rest, the better I show up for my family, my work, and myself.

That being said, I still believe there’s a thin line between reclaiming rest and wasting away in laziness.  I never want to fall into the trap of doing nothing just for the sake of it.  But, I’ve learned that true rest isn’t about being idle, it’s about intentional restoration.  It’s about making sure I have the energy to show up fully in the life I love.

Now, I no longer fight rest—I schedule it.

• If I’m doing anything after 8 PM, a nap is required. (As my uncle says, it’s not about sleeping; it’s about resetting.)
• My phone goes on ‘Do Not Disturb’ during dinner and family time. No more guilt for not responding immediately.
• I trust that God does not require me to sacrifice myself to be successful. Working hard? Yes. Working to the point of depletion? No.

Setting boundaries in this “full access” world isn’t easy, but peace is the price of protecting ourselves.

Black Women & the Rest Revolution

This shift toward reclaiming rest isn’t just personal—it’s historical.  Black women have always found ways to rest, even in resistance.  Audre Lorde wrote about self-care as a radical act.  Today, movements like The Nap Ministry remind us that rest is more than just self-care, it’s a way to disrupt systems that rely on our exhaustion.

As Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry says:  “Rest is a form of resistance because it disrupts and pushes back against capitalism and white supremacy.”

When we rest, we are honoring the generations before us who never got the chance— My peace matters, My body matters, My joy matters!

Rest is Love—For Yourself & the Ones Who Love You

As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air—but this year, I’m focusing on a different kind of love.  The love I pour into myself.  The love that says, “You don’t have to earn rest—you deserve it.”

Rest is an act of love—for myself, my body, and the life I’m building.  For so long, I resisted it, thinking that slowing down meant falling behind.  Although I may have to remind myself every now and then, I see it differently.  Choosing to rest is choosing to love myself enough to replenish, rather than run on empty.

In this season of rest, I’ve also found myself reclaiming—albeit still discovering—my softness, my feminine ease.  Rest hasn’t made me weaker, it’s simply reminded me that I don’t have to carry everything all the time.  I can hold onto the strength that makes Black women one of a kind, while also embracing the grace, ease, and softness we deserve.

This shift hasn’t just changed how I move through my days—it’s changed how I love myself.  And that love? It overflows into everything and everyone around me.

BTW: “Caring for myself in not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde

How are you reclaiming your rest? Share in the comments and on our social media platforms, use the hashtag #ReclaimingRest

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