Therapy

Keeping my mental health in check became a priority just prior to Covid taking over the world and our lives in 2020.

It came as a quiet whisper at the time. I now realize my spirit, soul, and essence were silently calling for a reset: change, balance, and calm. Aside from trying to be a “good wife”, a loving mother to a 3-year-old and a 10-month-old, working and striving to grow an independent pharmacy, nurturing relationships with friends and family, and finding any time for myself, all while breast feeding, my life seemed to be doing just fine.

I didn’t feel I was doing any more or less than anybody else. Afterall isn’t that how life is served. We are expected to load the plate and juggle it all with as little help as possible. I remember telling my husband, “I feel something big is coming, but we have to get through this year first.” I could not have imagined what was soon to be released on my life and the world at large.

There was an urge to find a therapist, thank God I listened.

I felt the need to go in for a tune up. If there was something huge on the horizon, I wanted to be sure that I was prepared and ready to receive it.

Covid would begin to ravage through the world keeping us more and more isolated. The news was constantly reporting and feeding us nothing but fear and death. Therapy gave me a space to speak freely and candidly without fear and judgement; to understand what was stirring inside of me.

This too was a process. Learning to trust the therapist and the process was a process.

However, once the rapport was established, my therapist was able to support me as I dug into issues, relationships and patterns to get a better understand of myself. The tools I received from therapy would serve me so I could see myself for myself more honestly and decide if this is who and how I wanted to maintain moving forward.

I began to learn how my mind worked, became more aware of my emotions and how to control them. I began to reflect if some of these issues, relationships, and patterns were serving me to become the person I wanted to become. Did I even know who I wanted to become. I should note that the therapist did not provide any of these answers. She simply provided the tools and held the space. The discovery and answers to the questions, would be work that I had to do.

The road has been both difficult and rewarding.

Recognizing and changing habits, patterns and mindsets is not easy, but it is worth it. I believe that the addiction to self can be the hardest to shake. I am so thankful that I adhered and dropped whatever stigma I may have had around mental health and sought help for myself.

Since the start of Covid, my life has been slapped and flipped upside down in ways that I could not have imagined. Having a trained professional to help me establish goals and develop ways to address my issues has helped to evolve and elevate me to the person I am today: I see her, and I love her.

I continue to be a work in progress. As life continues to life, I try not to allow my pride and ego to tell me I no longer need to seek help when needed, nor shame myself for needing the help.

This road was not meant to walk alone.

We do not have all of the answers. I am an advocate for seeking mental health therapy. We seek a cardiologist when our heart is not functioning. We seek an oncologist for cancer. Why the stigma when seeking to overcome personal issues that deal with the mind and feelings?

I do understand that therapy may not be for everyone. I also understand that like everything else, there are bad therapist. However, there are more resources to finding a therapist now, especially as the walls and taboo of mental health are slowly falling.

Please never feel too embarrassed or ashamed to reach out for help. We may not all be going through the exact same issues, but no human is exempt from the human experience and struggle.

BTW: Remember: your life and your feelings are valid, and they matter.

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